Today's dare is a tough one for me, believe it or not. Selfishness is something that I have had to undo through the years. Learning to be a servant and serve those around my (my family first) didn't come easy for me. It was easy to take care of my babies and put them first, but serving my husband has been difficult at times. He is the epitome of an unselfish person... He rarely does anything at all that is just for him and only him. I really can't think of anything. He is always there to lend a hand and picks up my slack often. When we were first married it was an issue because it was very unbalanced. He served me WAY more than I served him. He treated me like a princess and I let him. Even though he is my prince and not my servant. I have grown a lot in this area, but still have to fight it at times.
If you are confused or not sure what Selfishness is, Wikipedia defines it as this, "Selfishness denotes an excessive or exclusive concern with oneself; and as such it exceeds mere self interest or self concern. In that it necessarily connotes a disregard for others, it is beyond the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others (self interest)." I am not sure that it is possible to love your family and spouse the way that God intended if you are acting in this manner. It is pretty clear in the bible that we are NOT supposed to act in this manner. Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." WOW!!! Does that sound like the teaching that is going on in our society? What about James 3:16, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." These are pretty strong words... this is serious!!!
1 Corinthians 10:24 says, "Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." Imagine how different the world and everyone's relationships would be if this were followed. There is no reason to meet your own needs when everyone is meeting each others needs. There is a Law of Reciprocity found in Luke, "Give and it will be given to you." It works, it really does!
This applies not just to your marriage and family, but your whole life. Of course caring for the needs of your family comes before serving others. I know many people that are happy to serve others, but don't seem to be able to serve their own family. What good is it if we save the world, but lose our family? I have been told countless times that I do too much for others - including my family. Their point was, what do I do for myself? There is a balance in this. I do still have to physically take care of myself and feed myself spiritually in order to be able to serve others. There are extremes and the pendulum swings pretty wide. There are people that are totally neglectful of their children and spouses. They ONLY think of themselves and what makes them happy. Every decision is based on what makes THEM happy. Sound familiar? I see this more and more each day. Then at the other end of the spectrum, we have the person that is literally killing themselves to meet the needs of everyone else. Not just needs, but wants and desires... Needs that they could handle on their own. They are happy to have someone come along and wait on them hand and foot. Neither of those are the balance. Then there is the person that only does things that are visible to others in order to have the bragging rights, get the pat on the back or in order to manipulate that person. We also have to find the balance in serving others outside of our family. I have seen many families through the years that only serve themselves. No one else outside of their family. They become a their own click or cult. It is important that we teach our children to serve others. Teach them to love their neighbor as themselves. In order to teach this it must be demonstrated by us. It is all a balance...
In today's reading something really caught my eye, "The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself." That really is how it works! The amazing part is that by loving others and make decisions based on that, you will receive MORE joy and happiness than you could ever provide for yourself. :o)
So today's dare is really based on Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." What ever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. So along with restraining from negative comments, give your family something that says, "I was thinking of you today."
Good job partner!This is such important information that this world needs to learn and apply. I'm very proud of you for taking on this story and making it your blog.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Capt.