Thoughtfulness... The definition is:
- 1 absorbed in or involving thought. ■ showing careful consideration or attention.
- 2 showing regard for other people
I like the synonyms for thoughtfulness that I found... Synonyms: attentive, solicitous. Thoughtful, considerate mean taking thought for the comfort and the good of others. Thoughtful implies providing little attentions, offering services, or in some way looking out for the comfort or welfare of others: It was thoughtful of you to send the flowers. Considerate implies sparing others annoyance or discomfort, and being careful not to hurt their feelings.
It is so easy to be thoughtful in the beginning of our relationships. It is being kind and so EASY to see the little details. It is WANTING to show thoughtfulness... It is something that we have to work at making sure we continue to do each day, in each situation. It is part of being unselfish!
This can be applied to our children as well. It is important to not only be thoughtful and considerate of our spouse, but our children as well. How will our children learn these things if we don't demonstrate it for them? Because we tell them so? We need to not only demonstrate our thoughtfulness towards others, but also towards our spouse AND our children. I am all for boundaries and sticking to the boundaries, but having my child's heart is a priority. In order to have their heart I need to build relationship. In order to build relationship I must demonstrate love, through kindness and thoughtfulness. That doesn't mean that there are not still boundaries. It does mean that I need to look for ways to demonstrate thoughtfulness TO my child.
Teens... You can demonstrate thoughtfulness to your parents too! When your parent isn't feeling good, you can pick up the slack. You can offer to make dinner, clean the kitchen, bring them tea with honey. When I am sick one of my sons is quick to serve me. He brings me tea, offers me a foot massage and brings me comforting meals in bed. I soooo appreciate that and I know his wife is really going to love that one day! I love it when my sons can see that I need an extra hand or help with some of my chores. It doesn't have to be anything big at all! It can be as simple as not wrestling with their when I am not the phone - or - not constantly getting his brother riled up. :o)
Parents you can demonstrate thoughtfulness in lots of ways too! You can pick up the slack for a child who is genuinely swamped - not just putting it off to the last minute... You can do one of their regular chores for them to help them out. Cleaning their room for them really doesn't likely work... they will know that you are doing that for you, not them. :o) One of my favorite stories is when I was about 15 and was getting ready in the morning for school. It was one of THOSE mornings... I had already tried on like 12 outfits and nothing was working right. Nothing fit, nothing looked good, etc. I literally lost it! My mom came upstairs to see what was wrong and instead of telling me to hurry up and just get dressed, she told me that I didn't have to go to school and we were going shopping. That was the best day of my teenage life!!! It wasn't expected, I wasn't manipulating her, and it was a wonderful day! She was thoughtful and considerate of my hormonal, teenage bad morning. It can be as simple as picking them up one day from school instead of making them walk - and maybe taking them to ice cream. Surprising them and bringing them lunch from a restaurant instead of school food.
Thoughtfulness says, "Hey, I was thinking of you today." So today's dare is to check in with your spouse, child or parent sometime during the day. Having NO agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them. That's it! It seems so easy... Can you imagine if everyone did this?
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